Homosexual 'catholics' from DIGNITYUSA met last weekend in Sin City

Yet they also acknowledged that the group ceremony--which had been long planned but occurred just 10 days after the Roman Catholic Church issued its edict branding same-sex relationships as "against the natural moral law"--had taken on a new, unavoidable political connotation.

"We are showing our affirmation and commitment and showing that we deserve to be able to do so despite what the Vatican has to say," said Van Allen, 38, a former jeweler.

The blessing ceremony, presided over by two same-sex couples, one male and one female, capped a four-day conference for about 300 members of DignityUSA, a national gay and lesbian Catholic organization that has found itself at the center of controversies in the two years since the last such gathering.

DignityUSA's executive director says she has struggled with whether to stay in the faith.

"It's been the first time in my life I have seriously asked the questions, `Could I remain a Catholic? Can we make it a church I want to raise my daughter in?'" said Marianne Duddy, 42, of Boston, who steps down as executive director Monday.

"But I don't want to be forced out. I don't want to be driven out. It is a faith that has been handed down to me through the generations. I don't know how I could ever get away from that."

Duddy's anguish reflects that of many gay Roman Catholics across the nation.

Andrew Sullivan, the conservative author and Internet diarist, has spent recent weeks chronicling his uncertainty over whether to remain a Catholic.

"This debate is not an abstract one for me or for many others," Sullivan wrote on his Web site last week. "Our very integrity as human beings and equality as citizens is being weighed in the balance by others with enormous power over us. ... It's hard to describe the agony gay Catholics are now in, and I'm facing a pretty major life decision."

The Vatican issued a 12-page edict on July 31, titled "Considerations Regarding Proposals to Give Legal Recognition to Unions Between Homosexual Persons," that attacked legalizing same-sex marriages and warned Catholic politicians around the world against supporting such legislation.

Anger over that document surfaced in several proceedings at the Las Vegas conference. In his opening remarks Thursday, DignityUSA President Patrick McArron of San Diego denounced the "elite old-boys' club" in Rome that he said had committed acts of "spiritual terrorism" against homosexuals and others.

"We have much to celebrate in the face of this adversity," McArron, 56, told the audience. "We have each other to love and, by God, we have as much right as anyone else to express that love for each other emotionally and spiritually. In fact, we have a right to all seven sacraments."

The organization echoed that in a position paper written over the weekend that rejects the Vatican statement and concludes: "The love that brings and binds two people of the same, or opposite, sex together has a divine source. It is therefore sacramental in nature and should be celebrated as such by our Church."

Still, many in attendance say they are bracing for a backlash. Matt Foreman, executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, expressed fear that the recent U.S. Supreme Court decision decriminalizing sodomy and the same-sex marriage debate are enraging anti-gay forces.

"We've had this extraordinary, unprecedented and, in my mind, terrifying confluence of events in the past nine weeks, something of the likes our community has never seen," Foreman said.

The controversies have helped DignityUSA grow, leaders said. Membership is about 3,000 people, up from 2,400 at the start of 2002, an increase that Duddy attributes in part to her national media appearances.

Sunday's same-sex couple blessing was not the only portion of the weekend program likely to raise the ire of traditional Catholics. A full mass was said Saturday by John Crepeau, an ordained priest from San Diego who has been on leave from the priesthood for 10 years. The church prohibits masses said for groups it does not recognize, such as DignityUSA.

"There are some things that come from the church I do agree with, including its opposition to the war in Iraq and to the death penalty," said Mike Cook, 51, of Skokie. "It's important not to leave. If I leave, they win."

Added Masterson, 40, a physician's assistant: "There's a lot of anger with the Vatican, but it's not enough anger to make us give up our Catholicism."